Playing to an Audience

It occurs to me when I think about what to write next, and how I relate to my job as mother, that the easiest part of my job is behind me. In fact, I laugh when I remember my pregnant self and the trepidation I felt waiting to actually begin parenting. Looking back at my early foibles and missteps which sometimes overshadowed the sleep-deprived noose of caring for infants and toddlers, I have the gift of hindsight. I could have done anything with or to my very young children, and the generic responses were few - a scream or a good-old, gut-wrenching cry. I think back to diaper blowouts at the mall, and I remember times when I forced red and rigid screamers into car seats, or took away sippy cups cold-turkey. For the most part, these moments were performed without audience. As my children have grown older, exercising their ability to articulate thought with meaningful words, they wield feedback I would shun from the most tyrannical boss. Kids become an audience of critics and hecklers that grows stronger with every birthday.