Bedtime Sage

"Mom, I always bees bad at Christmas time, and Santa still gives me presents." This is what I heard from my five year-old at bedtime tonight. What an absolutely perfect commentary on the breakdown of parental consistency and follow-through. It could have been the beginning of a 20/20 special documenting how parents threaten their children irresponsibly - wielding consequences on a whim, and exaggerating for the kind of self-derived amusement parents crave. Spelling out if/then scenarios is one thing, but if you don't have the stomach to deliver the final death blow, be prepared for defeat every time you step into the ring. Shaping kids behavior by dosing consequences with consistency and follow-through isn't radical or new. Hell, it's tried and true. Yet we all know how easily we get carried away, and how squeamish we can be when faced with actually taking television away for a week.

Lemonade

For two days running, my daughter has practically tripped off the bus rushing to ask, "Did you buy lemonade at the store?". I notice my eyes begin to roll without official permission. I can't believe it. She can't remember how to subtract three from twelve, but she cannot forget that her mother hasn't bought lemonade yet and outside temperatures are soaring past fifty. How does a parent ever deal with disappointment of this magnitude? There's whining. And did I already mention there's whining? I remind her that nine year-olds are supposed to be over the whole whining thing. She flashes a fake grin, apologizes, then asks if she can make strawberry smoothies. "NO", I say. "And what about the cupcake mix, can you make cupcakes today?" "No". "Can you make them tonight?" Do I really have to say no again? Well of course I do, because if I don't answer her, this could go on FOREVER. I try to stay calm, refocus her or me or both of us. Impossible.